Please stop by and be a part of one of our services, I promise you we’ll make you feel right at home. Thanks so much for tuning in and thank you again for coming out today. I’d like to start with something funny. I heard about this elderly minister. He was dying. He sent for two of his members, an IRS agent and a lawyer to come to his house. When they arrived, he motioned for both of them to sit on each side of the bed. They were very moved to be with the minister in his final moments. At one point, the lawyer said very sincerely sir why did you choose both of us? The minister mustered up his strength and said, Jesus died between 2 sinners. That’s how I want to go.
Joel Osteen – Stay On 2015
Bless you and we welcome you all to Lakewood today. Thanks so much for coming out. How many of you are ready to worship the Lord today? God’s been good to you this week? I know you can say like me it’s another day the Lord has made. Nobody made us come; we’re choosing to rejoice, choosing to be glad, so thanks for coming out. I tell you often but the Scripture says when you’re planted in the House of the Lord, you will flourish. That’s what you’re doing today so when you leave today you can go out saying God I want to thank you that I’m going to flourish this week in my relationships, with ideas, in my finances, in every good area.
Joel Osteen – Secret Frustrations 2015
Can you tell – can you tell Brian and Jenn how much we’re glad to have them here? Bethel Music. Thank you all so much. Really great today.
Would you mind standing, one last time if you would, I’m very honored to have you with us today. Thanks for coming out. How many of you are visiting? Can we see your hands one more time? Welcome to you, God bless you. A joy to have you here. I’d love to meet you after the service. I’ll be in the lobby back there if you’ve got a little while. But it’s always our joy to have you here. Remember this, your life will go better when you keep God in first place, like you’re doing today. When you walk out the door, say, Lord I thank you, I’m going to flourish this week. When you’re planted in the House of the Lord, you will flourish. So, thanks so much for being here. You make the service better by coming. So many watching and listening on SeriusXM as well.
Joel Osteen – Resisting Temptations of Sin 2015
If you’re ever in our area, I hope you’ll stop by and be a part of one of our services. I promise you this, we’ll make you feel right at home. Thanks so much for tuning in and thank you again for coming out today. I’d like to start with something funny. I heard about this pastor. He decided to skip Church one Sunday morning to go play golf. He told his assistant he wasn’t feeling well and drove to a golf course in another city where nobody would know him. He teed off on the first hole and a huge gust of wind caught his ball, carried it an extra 100 yards and blew it right into the hole for 420 yard hole in one. An angel looked at God and said, what’d you do that for? God smiled and said, who’s he going to tell? Alright, hold up your Bibles. Say it like you mean it. This is my Bible. I am what it says I am. I have what it says I have. I can do what it says I can do. Today, I will be taught the word of God. I boldly confess; my mind is alert, my heart is receptive, I will never be the same. In Jesus’ name, God bless you.
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Joel Osteen – Not Fuelling the Fire 2015
Beautiful Cindy, Michael, thank you so much, and our choir, as well. Thank you for being here today. Can I see your hands one more time if you’re visiting? I just want to welcome you again and God bless you. It is our joy to have you. Come back any time; you’re always welcome. I’m going to be signing my book out there in the lobby, my new book. If you want to stop by, I’d love to meet you, whether you are a visitor or a Lakewood family member. We are just glad to have you here and see you and would love to see you afterward if you have time.
Joel Osteen – No More Excuses
I’d like to start with something funny. I heard about these 3 men, a Baptist, a Catholic, and a Charismatic. They died on the same day and went to heaven. Saint Peter met them at the gates and said, I’m sorry men, your rooms are not available yet. He didn’t know what to do, and he decided to call Satan and see if he would keep them for a little while. Satan reluctantly agreed. A few hours later, Satan called back and said, Peter, you’ve got to come get these guys. The Baptist man is saving everybody, the Catholic man is forgiving everybody, and the Charismatic has already raised enough money for air conditioning.
Joel Osteen – Living Large 2015
I heard about this husband and wife, they had been arguing for a long time about who should make the coffee in the morning. The husband thought it was the wife’s job but she just didn’t agree. After several heated debates, she finally said to her husband, I can prove to you from the Bible that it’s the man’s job to make the coffee. He said, what are you talking about, there’s nothing in the Bible about the man making the coffee. She said, sure there is. She opened her Bible and pointed to the Book of Hebrews.
Joel Osteen – Light in the Dark Places 2014
I’d like to start with something funny. I heard about this minister. He bought a new horse. He trained it to respond to Praise the Lord, meaning Giddy up, and Hallelujah, meaning Whoa. Every time he said Praise the Lord, the horse took off running. When he said Whoa, it quickly stopped. One day he was out riding and the horse got spooked, and took off straight toward the cliff, running full speed. In the panic, he couldn’t remember what he trained the horse to respond to. He said, Bless God, Glory, and Amen. Nothing happened. At the last second, he shouted, Hallelujah. The horse came to a screeching halt, just inches before the edge of the cliff. He breathed a sigh of relief and said: Praise the Lord.
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Joel Osteen – It’s Your Due Season 2015
If you’re ever in our area, please drop by and be a part of one of our services. I promise you, we’ll make you feel right at home. Thanks so much for tuning in today. Thank you again for coming out. I’d like to start with something funny. I heard about this elderly couple; they’d been married for over 60 years. They were at a Church fellowship, and someone asked them the secret of their success. The man told how he always treated his wife with respect and took her on trips all around the world. He said in fact for our own 25th wedding anniversary I took her to Beijing, China. Everyone politely applauded, and then someone asked, what’d you do for your 50th wedding anniversary? He said, I went back and picked her up.
Joel Osteen – Grace to Finish 2015
There was 2 men, the Pope and a lawyer. They died on the same day. St Peter met them at the pearly gates and said follow me, I’ll take you to your homes. Peter first dropped the Pope off at this small wood-framed house, just one bed and one desk. He then took the lawyer to this magnificent house; it was huge. Had a big swimming pool, a beautiful view out back. The lawyer was overwhelmed. He said St Peter what did I do to manage to get this magnificent place when the Pope only got that small place? Peter said, we have dozens of Popes, you’re the first lawyer.